Barks Blog

by Niki Tudge

I spend about an hour each day, broken down into short time periods, on social Media. Most of my postings are on Facebook and Twitter as I prefer these two platforms.  Many of my business posts are done remotely through a social media software and are scheduled in advance. But, each AM, mid-day and PM, I do enjoy short sessions scrolling through my news feed, keeping up with friends replying to comments and responding to any tags.

On any given day I cannot tell you how many times I go to post something on social media and then delete it. Not necessarily something elicited through anger or frustration but just an opinion, a thought, a quote or something I deem noteworthy!

I can also confess, that on any given day, I begin a reply to a post and stop, rethink and delete it. These responses I begin are not to an angry post, just a reply, I temporarily consider relevant.

Why, you may ask, do I take the time to draft a post and then delete it?

Well there are several reasons for this and they all identify with differing circumstances. Before I give you some examples of these circumstances I want you to think about the following, with which I think we can all identify. This list is in no way exhaustive and based on my humble opinion and experience about who I believe my social media audience may be when I post. Many of us may vacillate between several of these.

There are so many people on social media that may connect with you through your work, school or personal circumstances that are just “observing”. They follow, read and observe our behavior, posts, rants and opinions. From their observations they form a picture about us in their minds that will then affect how or even if, they interact with us.

• Social Media Gurus

SMG’s are everywhere. They react, rant and comment on everything and anything and do so in the heat of the moment with unbridled passion and energy. They are the self-proclaimed experts on any given newsworthy topic. One minute they are gorilla experts and then parenting gurus. Their expertise spans everything from African politics to community neighborhood watches and they are happy to dispense advice on it all, anytime and to anyone.

• Punishment Junkies

PJ’s hover, awaiting a post or opinion they can jump on. They strongly argue their opinions when they feel slighted. They don’t hold back individual names and or businesses. These public diatribes often serve only one purpose, to punish and publicly humiliate someone or inflict damage to a business or person. Punishing people through angry words surely only achieves, for the writer, emotional gratification in the moment. What about the long term?

• Reinforcement Junkies

Hastily pounding our keyboard in anger and responding to issues on Facebook affects our personality. Our behavior is reinforced through the reactions we elicit from our followers and friends. This further strengthens our behavior. But ask yourself if the behavior you are demonstrating is healthy for you and/or your business? Studies have likened our behavior and posting on social media to gambling.  We post, watch, revel in likes, gain the feel-good factor and move on.  Its addictive and can become a problem if not managed and moderated.

• The Tell Alls

We all have those social media friends who tell it all. It seems like each and every life event is aired publicly. Every thought, problem, opportunity, success, complaint, gripe and compliment is shared. Same goes for their family members. There is no filter or consideration for who or when this information is being displayed, read, interpreted and used by others.

Your Personal Illustration!

Whether we like it or not our words have consequences.  If not immediately then in the future. What we say and write can create a collective energy over weeks and months. Our words create patterns and pictures for others about who we are, how we behave, and how we treat others. How is your public image?

Now, here are a few examples of situations where I have typed, deleted, reset!

1. PJ’s

Supporting posts by angry “friends” can be perilous. How well do you know them or their situation? Are other parties involved in this scenario watching and reading comments. May your response appear to slight, insult or bully another party who may have the truth on their side! How is this impacting your persona?

2. SMGF’s

Entering into discussions with SMG’s often leads to unconstructive, social media debates where posts are made with little consideration to word choice or use.  Facts are not checked, and opinions run rife. Observers are also here and how you respond in the limited time and space allotted may contribute to an inaccurate perception of you and your position. Gurus can only be so if they have an active audience

3. Tell All’s

I realized several years ago that as a business owner I lost some liberties and a certain amount of privacy in my community, whether that be where I live or socially where I interact. This is a small and not so worrying price to pay for being a business owner. But I do have to always be cognizant of the fact that I am not only judged as Niki Tudge but also as The DogSmith, DogNostics, Doggone safe, Pet Professional Guild etc. My opinions, beliefs and attitudes have a direct impact on me and any organization I proudly represent. Think about how your posts may impact the behavior of others towards you, your company and your family. Think about how your posts create the tapestry of your persona and the perceptions this allows.

Don’t be fooled, words have consequences and can do untold damage to others, to your relationships and to your business. Words can dig a deep enough hole, too steep to climb out of. Think before you type. Look at word choice and use. Step away if emotional or angry. Type-Delete-Reset